CRIMES OF THE CENTURY

[INTRO – FULL ENSEMBLE] WELCOME TO CENTURY! WE'RE FAMOUS FOR BEING CRIME-FREE! AND WE'RE PROUD AS PROUD CAN BE! NO CROOKS, NO THIEVES, NO LARCENY! THAT’S OUR CLAIM TO FAME, YOU SEE! YOU’RE ALWAYS WELCOME IN CENTURY! [VERSE 2 – FULL ENSEMBLE] WELCOME TO CENTURY! WE'RE THE VERY MODEL OF HONESTY! WE'RE WHAT OTHER TOWNS HOPE TO BE! WE WORK ON IT NIGHT AND DAY! THAT'S HOW WE ARE IN CENTURY! [BRIDGE – ENSEMBLE] OUR LIVES ARE SIMPLY HARMONIOUS NO CRIME, PETTY OR FELONIOUS FORGIVE US IF WE'RE SANCTIMONIOUS SOMEONE'S ALWAYS WATCHING YOU AND ME! [BRIDGE CONTINUATION – ENSEMBLE] WE SHOW A FINE DEMEANOR AND TAKE THE MISS OUT OF MISDEMEANOR AND EVERYONE PAYS GREAT HEED THAT NO MISTER MISSES A MISDEED [MAIN MELODY – ENSEMBLE] WHEN YOU VISIT CENTURY CRIME'S NOW JUST A FLEETING MEMORY OUR CROOKS HAVE LOST THEIR ENERGY THE CON MEN JUST GOT TIRED THE BURGLARS ALL RETIRED OR SO IT SEEMS IN CENTURY! [SPOKEN – MAYOR GABE] Our town used to be called Diablos. Yep! Diablos as in Devil! And believe me, we earned the name! [CRIMINAL PAST – FULL ENSEMBLE] WE WERE A DEN OF INIQUITY WITH EVERY BRAND OF CRIMINALITY! [CHARACTER CALLS – FAST ENSEMBLE RESPONSES] [MR. BIGELOW] LARCENY! [MR. BANKCROFT] BRIBERY! [MARY COUNTRY] DEBAUCHERY! [MAYOR GABE] CHICANERY! [NEW MUSICAL SECTION – ENSEMBLE] THE TOWN WAS UP TO HERE WITH SCAMS! WITH ALL THE SHAMS AND BRAZEN FLIM-FLAMS! EVERY CROOK HAD PLAYED A ROLE EVERYONE HAD SOLD HIS SOUL [ENSEMBLE] THE TOWNSFOLK TURNED ON ONE ANOTHER EVERY NEIGHBOR FEARED HIS NEIGHBOR WE NEVER PRAYED FOR OUR BROTHER WE ONLY PREYED ON EACH OTHER! [ENSEMBLE] WE WERE QUITE THE ROGUE’S GALLERY OF SIN AND IMMORALITY! WITH EVERY RASCAL TO BE HAD WE WERE VERY, VERY GOOD AT BEING VERY, VERY BAD! [COMIC SOLO – IRISH CLEANING LADY] FAITH AND BEGORRAH! 'TWAS A SODOM AND GOMORRAH! BUT WE WOULDN'T BE ANYMORE-AH IF WE'D ONLY CHANGE OUR DESTINY! [DRAMATIC TRANSITION – FULL ENSEMBLE] IN A FIT OF FRANTIC DESPERATION AND WITH A LOT OF TREPIDATION WE CAST ASIDE OUR HESITATION TO FIX OUR SITUATION! [INSTRUMENTAL TRANSITION INTO PART 2] [SHORT ORCHESTRAL PICKUP – 2 BARS] [OPENING CHANT – FULL ENSEMBLE] FRANK CROSSETTI! FRANK CROSSETTI! NO ONE HAD EVER HEARD OF FRANK CROSSETTI! [FRANK CROSSETTI – MALE SOLO] HE'D BEEN A NOTORIOUS CROOK BEFORE HE KNEW WHAT CROOKS LIVED FOR HE'D SWORN TO CROOK NO MORE AND STOP CRIMINALITY! [FRANK CROSSETTI – MALE SOLO] HE KNEW THE TRICKS OF THE TRADE THE GAMES THAT CROOKS PLAYED THE LAWS THEY CHOSE TO DISOBEY AND DID SO BRAZENLY! [ENSEMBLE CHANT] FRANK CROSSETTI! FRANK CROSSETTI! NO ONE WAS QUITE READY FOR FRANK CROSSETTI! [FRANK CROSSETTI – MALE SOLO] THE MAN WAS TOUGH AS NAILS THREW HALF THE TOWN IN JAIL RAN OTHERS OUT ON A RAIL AND OUR TOWN WAS CRIME-FREE! [FRANK CROSSETTI – MALE SOLO WITH ENSEMBLE SUPPORT] THE TOWN LEADERS WERE VERY IMPRESSED BUT PRIVATELY DISTRESSED FRANK CROSSETTI WAS THE VERY BEST TO CLEAN UP OUR CITY! [ENSEMBLE CHANT] FRANK CROSSETTI! FRANK CROSSETTI! HE CLEANED UP THE TOWN EFFICIENTLY! [FRANK CROSSETTI – MALE SOLO] THE TOWN WAS QUICK TO HIRE HIM THEY JUST AS QUICKLY FIRED HIM! [ENSEMBLE – QUIETLY BUILDING] THOUGH EMBARRASSED AND ASHAMED THEY NEVER ACCEPTED BLAME! [FRANK CROSSETTI – MALE SOLO] THEY WROTE CROSSETTI'S NAME OUT OF OUR TOWN'S HISTORY! [FINAL CHANT – FULL ENSEMBLE] FRANK CROSSETTI! FRANK CROSSETTI! THE CITIZENS SPOKE NO MORE OF FRANK! [INSTRUMENTAL BUTTON – DARK COMIC BROADWAY TRANSITION INTO PART 3] [ORCHESTRAL PICKUP FROM PART 2] [SPOKEN – MAYOR GABE] Twenty-five years ago, we buried Diablos and gave birth to Century: our promise of one hundred years without crime. And now we're coming up on our twenty-fifth year as the most crime-free city in all of America! Don't take my word for it. Listen to Century's citizens! [FINAL CELEBRATION – FULL ENSEMBLE] COME JOIN US IN CENTURY TO CELEBRATE OUR ANNIVERSARY! BUT DON'T DARE TRY TO STEAL THE SHOW OR IT'S OFF TO THE POKEY YOU GO! WE TAKE THINGS VERY LITERALLY! [FINAL VERSE – ENSEMBLE] OUR GALA'S ALMOST HERE THE BIGGEST EVENT OF THE YEAR! WE'RE GLAD TO WELCOME YOU WE'LL CHECK YOU THROUGH AND THROUGH! THAT'S JUST OUR POLICY IN CENTURY! [FINAL CALL AND RESPONSE] [ENSEMBLE] SO WELCOME TO CENTURY! [LOUD WHISPER – ENSEMBLE] WHERE WE'RE CRIME-FREE! [ENSEMBLE] WE'RE CRIME-FREE IN CENTURY! [LOUD WHISPER – ENSEMBLE] WELL, MOSTLY! [FINAL ENSEMBLE AND MAYOR GABE] BECAUSE THINGS AREN'T ALWAYS AS THEY SEEM [SUNG FINALE – FULL ENSEMBLE] IN CENTURY!

[OPENING – MONTE, BRIGHT AND CONFIDENT] OPPORTUNITY KNOCKS I'M THE FIRST ONE TO THE DOOR EVERY KNOCK COULD BE A SCORE WHO COULD EVER ASK FOR MORE? [MONTE] OPPORTUNITY KNOCKS YOU DON'T CASH IN BY PLAYING SHY KEEP YOUR CHIN AND SPIRITS HIGH YOU DON'T CASH IN BY BEING SHY [MONTE – VERY FAST] CONNIE, I THINK IT'S CLEAR THAT WE CAN FLEECE THE FOLKS OF CENTURY HERE'S SOMETHING I CAN GUARANTEE THEY'VE NEVER MET A SLICK LIKE ME! [MONTE – VERY FAST] THEY ARE SO SIMPLE AND NAÏVE! A BUNCH OF MARKS RIPE TO DECEIVE. WE MAKE OUR PLAY AND TAKE OUR LEAVE THAT, CONNIE, IS WHAT I BELIEVE [MONTE – SLOW TO NORMAL] IT WOULD BE A CRIME TO WASTE THIS OPPORTUNITY! [CONNIE – SOFTLY] OPPORTUNITY KNOCKS LEAVE OPPORTUNITY OUTSIDE THE DOOR IT ALWAYS WANTS A LITTLE MORE THAN WHAT YOU WERE BARGAINING FOR [CONNIE] OPPORTUNITY KNOCKS HERE'S THE POINT THAT YOU MAY HAVE MISSED. WE'RE AROUND BUT WE DON'T EXIST. WE'RE LIKE SHADOWS IN THE MIST [CONNIE – VERY FAST] MONTE, HERE'S OUR STRATEGY WE SLIP BY SO CAREFULLY WE MASK OUR IDENTITY THEY NEVER SEE THE LIKES OF YOU OR ME! [CONNIE – VERY FAST] YES, CENTURY IS FREE OF CRIME BECAUSE THEY'RE WATCHING ALL THE TIME ANYONE COULD DROP A DIME SO CLEARLY, WE STAY LOW-KEY! [CONNIE – SLOW TO NORMAL] IT WOULD BE A CRIME TO WASTE THIS OPPORTUNITY! [MUSIC CHANGE – MONTE] SO WHO CARES IF WE'RE OBVIOUS? THERE'S NO HEAT COMING DOWN ON US THERE'S NOTHING THEY CAN PIN ON US. THE COPS DON'T HAVE A THING ON US! [SPOKEN – MONTE] Or do they? [MONTE] WHAT HAPPENED BACK IN THE BIG TOWN? I KNOW THE HEAT WAS CRACKING DOWN ON EVERY MUG WITH A RAP SHEET EVERY HUSTLER ON THE STREET. [CONNIE] YOU KNOW MONTE, YOU HAVE A GIFT CONNING, GRIFTING, THE FIVE-FINGER LIFT. SOON THEY'D COME AND TRACK US DOWN SO IT WAS TIME TO SKIP TOWN. [SPOKEN – CONNIE] AND COME TO CENTURY. [MUSIC CHANGE – PLAYFUL AND SUSPICIOUS] [MONTE] THERE'S SOMETHING BEHIND THAT SMILE [CONNIE] I'LL STAY BESIDE YOU ALL THE WHILE [MONTE AND CONNIE – TOGETHER] AND IF OPPORTUNITY KNOCKS? [MONTE] WE DON'T HESITATE! [CONNIE] WE TAKE TIME TO EVALUATE. [MONTE] WE ACT QUICKLY. WE DON'T WAIT! [CONNIE] WE DON'T WANT TO TEMPT FATE! [MONTE AND CONNIE – TOGETHER, BUILDING] IT'S CLEAR TO SEE WE LOOK AT THINGS DIFFERENTLY BUT ON THIS WE DO AGREE [MONTE AND CONNIE – FULL FINAL DUET] IT'D BE A CRIME TO WASTE THIS OPPORTUNITY!